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We kept this part soft on purpose.




















Under This Gloss Unisex Tee
Pickup currently unavailable
Perfectly poised. Slightly unhinged.
This oneās for the Chaos Muffin who schedules breakdowns between board meetings and cries exclusively in privateāif at all.
That high-shine exterior? Gorgeous. Intentional. But also⦠a little tired.
This tee lets you sparkle and scream (quietly) in style.
Because curating composure is a full-time jobāand sometimes the only thing louder than your lip gloss is what youāre holding inside.
Wear it as armour, wear it as honesty. Either way, youāre glowing through the cracks.
The Fit & Feel:
⢠100% ring-spun cottonāsoft yet sturdy, like you
⢠Garment-dyedāricher color, lived-in soul
⢠Relaxed fitāfor when life tests your stretch
⢠Reinforced stitchingābuilt to hold, even when you canāt
FYI: This print uses a risograph-inspired texture.
That slightly grainy, layered look? Totally intentional.
We love it for the same reason we love growthāitās uneven, emotionally charged, and surprisingly beautiful.
Made to orderālike all good things in life. Your piece is created just for you: slowly, intentionally, and without wasteful stockpiling. Thatās why it takes a little longer to arriveābecause chaos deserves care, not overproduction. Thank you for letting us bake this with intention.
š Unisex Tee Size Chart
| Size Label | Length (in) | Width (in) | Sleeve length (in) |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 26 ā | 18 ¼ | 16 ¼ |
| M | 28 | 20 ¼ | 17 ¾ |
| L | 29 ā | 22 | 19 |
| XL | 30 ¾ | 24 | 20 ½ |
| 2XL | 31 ā | 26 | 21 ¾ |
| 3XL | 32 ½ | 27 ¾ | 23 ¼ |
| Size Label | Length (cm) | Width (cm) | Sleeve length (cm) |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 67.6 | 46.4 | 41.3 |
| M | 71 | 51.4 | 45 |
| L | 74.6 | 56 | 48.3 |
| XL | 78 | 61 | 52 |
| 2XL | 80.3 | 66 | 55.2 |
| 3XL | 82.6 | 70.5 | 59 |
šŖ Menās Tank Size Chart
| Size Label | Length (in) | Width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 | 18 |
| M | 29 | 20 |
| L | 30 | 22 |
| XL | 31 | 24 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 |
| Size Label | Length (cm) | Width (cm) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 71 | 45.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 |
| L | 76.2 | 56 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71 |
š§āāļø Womenās Tank Size Chart
| Size Label | Chest (in) | Body Length from Hips (in) |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 14 | 26 ¾ |
| S | 15 | 27 ā |
| M | 16 | 28 |
| L | 17 | 28 ā |
| XL | 18 | 29 ¼ |
| 2XL | 19 | 29 ā |
| Size Label | Chest (cm) | Body Length from Hips (cm) |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 35.6 | 68 |
| S | 38 | 69.5 |
| M | 40.6 | 71 |
| L | 43.2 | 72.7 |
| XL | 45.7 | 74.3 |
| 2XL | 48.3 | 76 |
š Unisex Tote Bag Size Chart
| Size | Width (in) | Height (in) |
|---|---|---|
| 15ā³Ć15ā³ | 15 ¾ | 15 ā |
| Size | Width (cm) | Height (cm) |
|---|---|---|
| 15ā³Ć15ā³ | 40 | 39 |
š§¢ Retro Hat Size Chart
| Measurement Area | One Size (in) |
|---|---|
| A ā Head Circumference | 21 ā ā 23 ā |
| B ā Crown Height | 3 ā |
| C ā Front Panel Height | 2 ½ |
| D ā Visor Length | 6 ¾ |
| Measurement Area | One Size (cm) |
|---|---|
| A ā Head Circumference | 55 ā 60 |
| B ā Crown Height | 10 |
| C ā Front Panel Height | 6.4 |
| D ā Visor Length | 17.1 |
Shipping & Second Chances
Delivery drama? Emotional misfire? Weāve got you.
Whether your chaos is en route or your tee didnāt pass the vibe check, we offer tracking links, returns, and try-again rituals.
No guilt. No shame. Just fresh startsāfrosted lightly.
Learn how it works!
Care & Crumble Prevention
Because your garmentāand your soulādeserve gentle cycles.
Wash cold. Hang dry. Whisper affirmations into the fabric if needed.
These pieces are emotionally ventilated and may flake under pressure (just like you).
Treat with care, or at least pretend to.
See full care guide.
Ask Auntie!
Spiraling? Ghosted? Still thinking about that thing you said in 2016?
Drop your emotional muffin mess in Auntieās inbox.
Sheāll roast you gently, hold you fiercely, and reply when the moonās in retro shade.
Itās not therapy. Itās wisdom with edge.
Ask Auntie!
CHAOS MUFFIN
We bring comfort, clarity, and comedy to the emotionally rich (and occasionally unhinged) lives of those who know that growing up is messy, healing is nonlinear, and humour is holy.
Cracked but glowing since 2025
Made with equal parts burnout and butter.


