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Pickup currently unavailable
Perfectly poised. Slightly unhinged.
This oneâs for the Chaos Muffin who schedules breakdowns between board meetings and cries exclusively in privateâif at all.
That high-shine exterior? Gorgeous. Intentional. But also⌠a little tired.
This tee lets you sparkle and scream (quietly) in style.
Because curating composure is a full-time jobâand sometimes the only thing louder than your lip gloss is what youâre holding inside.
Wear it as armour, wear it as honesty. Either way, youâre glowing through the cracks.
The Fit & Feel:
⢠100% ring-spun cottonâsoft yet sturdy, like you
⢠Garment-dyedâricher color, lived-in soul
⢠Relaxed fitâfor when life tests your stretch
⢠Reinforced stitchingâbuilt to hold, even when you canât
FYI: This print uses a risograph-inspired texture.
That slightly grainy, layered look? Totally intentional.
We love it for the same reason we love growthâitâs uneven, emotionally charged, and surprisingly beautiful.
Made to orderâlike all good things in life. Your piece is created just for you: slowly, intentionally, and without wasteful stockpiling. Thatâs why it takes a little longer to arriveâbecause chaos deserves care, not overproduction. Thank you for letting us bake this with intention.
This size guide shows product measurements taken when products are laid flat.
Pro tip! Measure one of your products at home and compare with the measurements you see in this guide.
| Size Label | Length (in) | Width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 27 | 20 |
| M | 28 | 21 |
| L | 29 | 23 |
| XL | 30 | 25 |
| 2XL | 31 | 26.5 |
| 3XL | 32 | 28 |
| Size Label | Length (in) | Width (in) | Sleeve (in) |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 27 | 20 | 23.5 |
| M | 28 | 21 | 24 |
| L | 29 | 23 | 24 |
| XL | 30 | 25 | 24 |
| 2XL | 31 | 26.5 | 24 |
| 3XL | 32 | 28 | 24 |
| Size Label | Inseam (in) | Waistband (in) |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 28 | 28 |
| S | 29 | 30 |
| M | 30 | 32 |
| L | 31 | 34 |
| XL | 32 | 36 |
| 2XL | 33 | 38 |
| Size Label | Length (in) | Width (in) | Sleeve (in) |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 26 â | 18 Âź | 16 Âź |
| M | 28 | 20 Ÿ | 17 ž |
| L | 29 â | 22 | 19 |
| XL | 30 ž | 24 | 20 ½ |
| 2XL | 31 â | 26 | 21 ž |
| 3XL | 32 ½ | 27 ž | 23 Ÿ |
| Size Label | Chest (in) | Body Length (in) |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 14 | 26 ž |
| S | 15 | 27 â |
| M | 16 | 28 |
| L | 17 | 28 â |
| XL | 18 | 29 Âź |
| 2XL | 19 | 29 â |
| Size Label | Length (in) | Width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 | 18 |
| M | 29 | 20 |
| L | 30 | 22 |
| XL | 31 | 24 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 |
| Size | Width (in) | Height (in) |
|---|---|---|
| 15Ă15 | 15 ž | 15 â |
| Measurement Area | One Size (in) |
|---|---|
| Head Circumference | 21 â â 23 â |
| Crown Height | 3 â |
| Front Panel Height | 2 ½ |
| Visor Length | 6 ž |
Heads up on Sizes and Shipping
Sweetie, our HOODIES and SWEATSHIRTS like to play tight-to-get (they run small).
If you want that cozy and curled up fit, go one size up.
Your future self (and your future laundry cycles) will thank you.
And yes, the size guide is your friend.
Chaos is our brand, not your checkout experience.
USD 7.99 / CAD 10.99 flat rate shipping ⢠Free shipping over USD 75+ / CAD 100+
We kept this part soft on purpose.
Shipping & Second Chances
Delivery drama? Emotional misfire? Weâve got you.
Whether your chaos is en route or your tee didnât pass the vibe check, we offer tracking links, returns, and try-again rituals.
No guilt. No shame. Just fresh startsâfrosted lightly.
Learn how it works!
Care & Crumble Prevention
Because your garmentâand your soulâdeserve gentle cycles.
Wash cold. Hang dry. Whisper affirmations into the fabric if needed.
These pieces are emotionally ventilated and may flake under pressure (just like you).
Treat with care, or at least pretend to.
See full care guide.
Ask Auntie!
Spiraling? Ghosted? Still thinking about that thing you said in 2016?
Drop your emotional muffin mess in Auntieâs inbox.
Sheâll roast you gently, hold you fiercely, and reply when the moonâs in retro shade.
Itâs not therapy. Itâs wisdom with edge.
Ask Auntie!
CHAOS MUFFIN
We make the voice in your head wearable, with humour, heart, and a wink. Perfect for anyone who copes, spirals, sparkles, or evolves.
Made with equal parts burnout and butter since 2025.


