CEO Retro Hat (White Thread)

Structured mesh. Unstructured emotions. This hat is for the Chaos Executive Officer who looks like they’ve got it all together—and mostly do—until someone asks, “Got a minute?”

It’s got just the right height for high-functioning delusion, breathable mesh for mid-crisis airflow, and a firm front panel that says, “Yes, I’m in charge—but I’m also one group chat away from combusting.”

Whether you're commanding boardrooms or mentally ordering wine at 9:43 AM, this hat lets the world know: you run this shift—even if you're internally buffering.

The Fit and Feel:
• 74% polyester, 26% cotton—built like your coping skills: mostly durable, slightly soft, always wearable under pressure.
• 3.5" crown (8.9 cm): The ideal altitude for high-functioning thoughts and low-key spirals.
• Embroidered front design—because if it’s not stitched, it’s not sacred.
• Structured six-panel frame with a hard buckram front: emotional scaffolding in hat form.
• Mesh back, Permacurv® visor and adjustable plastic closure, because chaos should be comfy, darling—not clingy.