It's C.U.M (Cozy Up, Muffin) SEASON! 10% on hoodies, sweats, joggers with code GIVECHAOS10 + FREE shipping!

Navy White retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Black retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Black White retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Navy retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Charcoal Black retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Charcoal retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Cranberry retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Red retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Brown Khaki retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Dark Heather Gray retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Evergreen retro trucker hat with 'OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)' design — Funny mental health merch that doubles as a Thinking Cap—mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Chaos Muffin

OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)

$39.00

Color

You started healing, but then… you questioned your healing. So now you’re healing from that.

This trucker hat captures the exact moment your “aha!” turns into “am I the drama?”
It’s not just headwear—it’s your official overthinking device. Mesh in the back, spiral in the front.

Wear it when you need to think, rethink, and then write a 12-paragraph caption about your growth arc. Because sometimes you don’t need answers—you just need a Thinking Cap that gets you.

The Fit & Feel:
• 74% polyester, 26% cotton—built like your coping skills: mostly durable, slightly soft, always wearable under pressure.
• 3.5" crown (8.9 cm): The ideal altitude for high-functioning thoughts and low-key spirals.
• Embroidered front design—because if it’s not stitched, it’s not sacred.
• Structured six-panel frame with a hard buckram front: emotional scaffolding in hat form.
• Mesh back, Permacurv® visor and adjustable plastic closure, because chaos should be comfy, darling—not clingy.

Made to order—like all good things in life. Your piece is created just for you: slowly, intentionally, and without wasteful stockpiling. That’s why it takes a little longer to arrive—because chaos deserves care, not overproduction. Thank you for letting us bake this with intention.

Size Label	Length (in)	Width (in)
S	27	20
M	28	21
L	29	23
XL	30	25
2XL	31	26.5
3XL	32	28

Size Label	Length (in)	Width (in)	Sleeve (in)
S	27	20	23.5
M	28	21	24
L	29	23	24
XL	30	25	24
2XL	31	26.5	24
3XL	32	28	24

Size Label	Inseam (in)	Waistband (in)
XS	28	28
S	29	30
M	30	32
L	31	34
XL	32	36
2XL	33	38

Size Label	Length (in)	Width (in)	Sleeve (in)
S	26 ⅝	18 ¼	16 ¼
M	28	20 ¼	17 ¾
L	29 ⅜	22	19
XL	30 ¾	24	20 ½
2XL	31 ⅝	26	21 ¾
3XL	32 ½	27 ¾	23 ¼

Size Label	Chest (in)	Body Length (in)
XS	14	26 ¾
S	15	27 ⅜
M	16	28
L	17	28 ⅝
XL	18	29 ¼
2XL	19	29 ⅞

Size Label	Length (in)	Width (in)
S	28	18
M	29	20
L	30	22
XL	31	24
2XL	32	26
3XL	33	28

Size	Width (in)	Height (in)
15×15	15 ¾	15 ⅜

Measurement Area	One Size (in)
Head Circumference	21 ⅝ – 23 ⅝
Crown Height	3 ⅞
Front Panel Height	2 ½
Visor Length	6 ¾

Heads up on Sizes and Shipping

Sweetie, our HOODIES and SWEATSHIRTS like to play tight-to-get (they run small).
If you want that cozy and curled up fit, go one size up.
Your future self (and your future laundry cycles) will thank you.
And yes, the size guide is your friend.

Chaos is our brand, not your checkout experience.
USD 7.99 / CAD 10.99 flat rate shipping • Free shipping over USD 75+ / CAD 100+
We kept this part soft on purpose.

Shipping & Second Chances

Delivery drama? Emotional misfire? We’ve got you.
Whether your chaos is en route or your tee didn’t pass the vibe check, we offer tracking links, returns, and try-again rituals.
No guilt. No shame. Just fresh starts—frosted lightly.
Learn how it works!

Care & Crumble Prevention

Because your garment—and your soul—deserve gentle cycles.
Wash cold. Hang dry. Whisper affirmations into the fabric if needed.
These pieces are emotionally ventilated and may flake under pressure (just like you).
Treat with care, or at least pretend to.
See full care guide.

Ask Auntie!

Spiraling? Ghosted? Still thinking about that thing you said in 2016?
Drop your emotional muffin mess in Auntie’s inbox.
She’ll roast you gently, hold you fiercely, and reply when the moon’s in retro shade.
It’s not therapy. It’s wisdom with edge.
Ask Auntie!

We make the voice in your head wearable, with humour, heart, and a wink. Perfect for anyone who copes, spirals, sparkles, or evolves.

Made with equal parts burnout and butter since 2025.

OMG Retro Hat (White Thread)

Heads up on Sizes and Shipping

Shipping & Second Chances

Care & Crumble Prevention

Ask Auntie!

CHAOS MUFFIN

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