Chaos is our brand, not your checkout experience.
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We kept this part soft on purpose.




Define Fine Women's Racerback Tank Top (White Print)
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You’re not just fine. You’re linguistically fine. With footnotes.
This soft, breathable tank serves existential crisis with a flattering cut. Equal parts sass and self-awareness, it’s for the girlies who know “fine” is a full sentence—with trauma citations. Pairs well with iced coffee, deep sighs, and being everyone’s unpaid therapist.
Fine, but make it fashion
The Fit & Feel:
• Cotton-poly blend—soft, breathable, emotionally multitasking
• Lightweight jersey—easy on the skin, easier on your spirals
• Fitted silhouette—hugs the chaos in all the right places
• Scoop neck + racerback—built to flex, move, and slay
FYI: This print uses a risograph-inspired texture.
That slightly grainy, layered look? Totally intentional.
We love it for the same reason we love growth—it’s uneven, emotionally charged, and surprisingly beautiful.
Made to order—like all good things in life. Your piece is created just for you: slowly, intentionally, and without wasteful stockpiling. That’s why it takes a little longer to arrive—because chaos deserves care, not overproduction. Thank you for letting us bake this with intention.
👕 Unisex Tee Size Chart
| Size Label | Length (in) | Width (in) | Sleeve length (in) |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 26 ⅝ | 18 ¼ | 16 ¼ |
| M | 28 | 20 ¼ | 17 ¾ |
| L | 29 ⅜ | 22 | 19 |
| XL | 30 ¾ | 24 | 20 ½ |
| 2XL | 31 ⅝ | 26 | 21 ¾ |
| 3XL | 32 ½ | 27 ¾ | 23 ¼ |
| Size Label | Length (cm) | Width (cm) | Sleeve length (cm) |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 67.6 | 46.4 | 41.3 |
| M | 71 | 51.4 | 45 |
| L | 74.6 | 56 | 48.3 |
| XL | 78 | 61 | 52 |
| 2XL | 80.3 | 66 | 55.2 |
| 3XL | 82.6 | 70.5 | 59 |
💪 Men’s Tank Size Chart
| Size Label | Length (in) | Width (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 28 | 18 |
| M | 29 | 20 |
| L | 30 | 22 |
| XL | 31 | 24 |
| 2XL | 32 | 26 |
| 3XL | 33 | 28 |
| Size Label | Length (cm) | Width (cm) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 71 | 45.7 |
| M | 73.7 | 50.8 |
| L | 76.2 | 56 |
| XL | 78.7 | 61 |
| 2XL | 81.3 | 66 |
| 3XL | 83.8 | 71 |
🧘♀️ Women’s Tank Size Chart
| Size Label | Chest (in) | Body Length from Hips (in) |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 14 | 26 ¾ |
| S | 15 | 27 ⅜ |
| M | 16 | 28 |
| L | 17 | 28 ⅝ |
| XL | 18 | 29 ¼ |
| 2XL | 19 | 29 ⅞ |
| Size Label | Chest (cm) | Body Length from Hips (cm) |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 35.6 | 68 |
| S | 38 | 69.5 |
| M | 40.6 | 71 |
| L | 43.2 | 72.7 |
| XL | 45.7 | 74.3 |
| 2XL | 48.3 | 76 |
👜 Unisex Tote Bag Size Chart
| Size | Width (in) | Height (in) |
|---|---|---|
| 15″×15″ | 15 ¾ | 15 ⅜ |
| Size | Width (cm) | Height (cm) |
|---|---|---|
| 15″×15″ | 40 | 39 |
🧢 Retro Hat Size Chart
| Measurement Area | One Size (in) |
|---|---|
| A – Head Circumference | 21 ⅝ – 23 ⅝ |
| B – Crown Height | 3 ⅞ |
| C – Front Panel Height | 2 ½ |
| D – Visor Length | 6 ¾ |
| Measurement Area | One Size (cm) |
|---|---|
| A – Head Circumference | 55 – 60 |
| B – Crown Height | 10 |
| C – Front Panel Height | 6.4 |
| D – Visor Length | 17.1 |
Shipping & Second Chances
Delivery drama? Emotional misfire? We’ve got you.
Whether your chaos is en route or your tee didn’t pass the vibe check, we offer tracking links, returns, and try-again rituals.
No guilt. No shame. Just fresh starts—frosted lightly.
Learn how it works!
Care & Crumble Prevention
Because your garment—and your soul—deserve gentle cycles.
Wash cold. Hang dry. Whisper affirmations into the fabric if needed.
These pieces are emotionally ventilated and may flake under pressure (just like you).
Treat with care, or at least pretend to.
See full care guide.
Ask Auntie!
Spiraling? Ghosted? Still thinking about that thing you said in 2016?
Drop your emotional muffin mess in Auntie’s inbox.
She’ll roast you gently, hold you fiercely, and reply when the moon’s in retro shade.
It’s not therapy. It’s wisdom with edge.
Ask Auntie!
CHAOS MUFFIN
We bring comfort, clarity, and comedy to the emotionally rich (and occasionally unhinged) lives of those who know that growing up is messy, healing is nonlinear, and humour is holy.
Cracked but glowing since 2025
Made with equal parts burnout and butter.


