C.U.M. Season is here!

The warmest place to glow through the chaos.

C.U.M. Season is here!

Chaos Muffin presents...
THE CHILL C.U.M. COMBO

Your cool winter fit with a wink.
Your hoodie sets the mood.
Your joggers deliver the punchline.
Because the right bottoms complete the chaos.

Now thru Dec 15, 10% off on hoodies, sweatshirts and joggers with code GIFTCHAOS10 + FREE shipping!

*Below are just our featured memes. To browse the entire collection, click the link below.

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Curator of Calm

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Curator of Calm Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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Curator of Calm Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
Curator of Calm Unisex Fleece Joggers
Curator of Calm Unisex Fleece Joggers
From $65.00

Under This Gloss Is A Soft Scream

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Under This Gloss Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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Under This Gloss Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
Under This Gloss Unisex Fleece Joggers
Under This Gloss Unisex Fleece Joggers
From $65.00

I'm Fine Adjacent

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Fine Adjacent Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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I'm Fine Adjacent Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
I'm Fine Adjacent Unisex Fleece Joggers
I'm Fine Adjacent Unisex Fleece Joggers
From $65.00

High Functioning Disaster

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High Functioning Disaster Unisex Sweatshirt (White Print)
From $59.00
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High Functioning Disaster Unisex Sweatshirt (Black Print)
From $59.00
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High Functioning Disaster Unisex Hoodie (White Print)
From $65.00
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High Functioning Disaster Unisex Hoodie (Black Print)
From $65.00
Cartoonish eyes with black pupils on a white background
High Functioning Disaster Unisex Fleece Joggers (White Print)
From $65.00
High Functioning Disaster Unisex Fleece Joggers (Black Print)
High Functioning Disaster Unisex Fleece Joggers (Black Print)
From $65.00

New Era Loading

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New Era Loading Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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New Era Loading Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
New Era Loading Unisex Fleece Joggers
New Era Loading Unisex Fleece Joggers
From $65.00

OMG: Overthinking My Growth

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OMG White Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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OMG White Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
OMG Unisex Fleece Joggers
OMG Unisex Fleece Joggers
From $65.00
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OMG Black Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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OMG Black Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00

Not Your Average Muffin

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Not Your Average Muffin Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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Not Your Average Muffin Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
Not Your Average Muffin Unisex Fleece Joggers
Not Your Average Muffin Unisex Fleece Joggers
From $65.00

I Sparkle, You Squint Lines

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I Sparkle, You Squint Super Femme Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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I Sparkle You, Squint Glow Dude Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
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I Sparkle, You Squint Drag Queen Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
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I Sparkle, You Squint Drag Queen Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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I Sparkle, You Squint Glow Dude Unisex Sweatshirt
From $59.00
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I Sparkle, You Squint Super Femme Unisex Hoodie
From $65.00
I Sparkle, You Squint Unisex Fleece Joggers
I Sparkle, You Squint Unisex Fleece Joggers
From $65.00

There's more!

To access all our meme collections, click below.

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Shipping & Second Chances

Delivery drama? Emotional misfire? We’ve got you.
Whether your chaos is en route or your tee didn’t pass the vibe check, we offer tracking links, returns, and try-again rituals.
No guilt. No shame. Just fresh starts—frosted lightly.
Learn how it works!

Care & Crumble Prevention

Because your garment—and your soul—deserve gentle cycles.
Wash cold. Hang dry. Whisper affirmations into the fabric if needed.
These pieces are emotionally ventilated and may flake under pressure (just like you).
Treat with care, or at least pretend to.
See full care guide.

Ask Auntie!

Spiraling? Ghosted? Still thinking about that thing you said in 2016?
Drop your emotional muffin mess in Auntie’s inbox.
She’ll roast you gently, hold you fiercely, and reply when the moon’s in retro shade.
It’s not therapy. It’s wisdom with edge.
Ask Auntie!

CHAOS MUFFIN

We make the voice in your head wearable, with humour, heart, and a wink. Perfect for anyone who copes, spirals, sparkles, or evolves.

Made with equal parts burnout and butter since 2025.

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